


I Wanted to Date Your Sister But I Guess You'll Do

by ayyyywhatsup



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Or do they?, but it's literally only one sentence, emil just likes the crispino family i guess, i know it sounds rlly rushed pls dont hate me, i spell sala with an l i'm sorry, i'm sorry if the timeline is confusing, implied sala/mila at the end, kinda OOC, michele is dumb and overprotective, not that canon compliant, plans gone wrong, sala is done with michele's shit, this was written at 3 am and fueld by insane amounts of coffee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 00:29:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8945395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayyyywhatsup/pseuds/ayyyywhatsup
Summary: Emil thinks he has a small crush on Sala. She's pretty, and knows how to skate well, that's a good enough reason to date anyone right? Michele learns of Emil's plans and tries to stop him, only they find out that Emil's small crush on Sala never really existed to begin with.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this headcanon running through my head for weeks and this is what came out of it. Enjoy lol
> 
> (Ofc this is what brings me out of my writer's block lol)

Michele was suspicious. Emil was acting weirder than usual. Sure, he hung out around him and Sala way more than he'd like, but at least he was tolerable. He never showed any interest in his sister, so Michele decided that he wouldn't be much of a problem.

That is, until Emil starts asking him things. Things about _his_ Sala. Things like her likes and dislikes, or her favorite foods. Things that Michele decided were off limits for any disgusting boys to know about Sala. Michele saddens at the fact that he'll have to place Emil from 'barely tolerable' to the evergrowing list of 'disgusting boys' (Yuuri on the top of that list), but if it means protecting his precious sister from harm, it's a sacrifice Michele is willing to make.

So if Michele is even more overbearing than usual, only Sala seems to notice, sending him angry looks when Emil isn't looking. Of course it hurts but he ultimately ignores them, Michele is on a mission after all. To get those dirty mitts away from my sister, Michele thinks as he intercepts another one of Emil's incredibly invasive questions. 

He asked if she preferred purple or gold.

Michele is starting to lose his patience. No matter how many glares or thinly veiled threats he sends at Emil's way, he just can't shake him off. Sala isn't helping much either, it actually looks like she _enjoys_ the boy's company. And. Michele just. He can't take the betrayal. After all those years of protecting his sister from evil boys and succeeding, it looks like Michele has finally met his match. How will he manage to keep that boy away from her?

He storms down the hall of the rink they're at, too busy brooding to notice Emil try to catch his attention.

*

Emil doesn't know what he did wrong. One moment Mickey is semi friendly towards him, and then he's sending glares his way. Was it something he said? But then he remembers Michele and Sala's weird sibling relationship and _oh, that's why._

Looking back, Emil admits that he had been spending more time with Sala than usual, even asking Mickey some basic questions about her. It's not like he likes her in that way though, Emil's just a friendly guy. Ok, he admits he had a tiny crush on her when they first met, and he may have been way too obvious, _and_ he may have asked her out on a date (which she rejected), but now that he's gotten to know the other twin more, he's glad to say that his feelings are strictly platonic. At least he thinks. Sometimes Emil gets confused because Sala looks really pretty and is super nice to him whenever they talk which leaves him feeling warm and fuzzy. It doesn't amount to the other weird feeling in he gets in his stomach whenever Mickey stops glaring at him long enough to mutter out a greeting to him though. In the end Emil is left still confused, and he decides that romantic feelings are dumb anyways.

Emil had been seeking refuge in Sala more and more lately. It has nothing to do with how Mickey kind of snarls and growls at him more whenever he passes by. Nope, nothing at all. At least that's what he tells Sala. Even if the older boy is nothing but mean to him, Emil doesn't want to break that sibling relationship, considering how much he cherishes his own. He's pretty sure he's a bad liar though. Sala had asked Emil the other day if Mickey was the reason why he looked so down lately, which caused him to sweat buckets as he violently shook his head no. It only took a single raised eyebrow of hers to know that Sala didn't buy it, and Emil kind of trembled in his seat when he saw that look in her face. It reminded him of Mickey's.

So Emil, the good friend he is, tries to find Mickey before Sala can tear him to pieces. When he does find him in the rink's hallway, he sighs in relief, and calls out Mickey's name. Only, he doesn't answer, which causes Emil to slightly panic as Mickey heads down the same path where Sala's at.

He hopes Mickey makes it out in one piece.

*

Michele doesn't know what hits him when Sala yells at him. He doesn't even know he did anything wrong. Did he leave the toilet seat up again?

When he realizes the reason that Sala's so mad is because of the way he'd been treating Emil, Michele has the decency to look sheepish. He still thinks he's doing the right thing, and he tells her as much, which in hindsight, was a bad idea. He never saw Sala so mad before, and Michele wonders if he's finally lost. For years Michele had been Sala's only knight in shining armor, but it seems Emil's the first suitor to actually make it through his defence. Michele apologizes to Sala for being mean to Emil even if he doesn't really mean it. When Sala tells him he should spend more time with Emil to see that he really is a nice guy (yeah, right), Michele's struck with a brilliant idea.

If Michele can't keep Emil away by using scare tactics, he'll just take up all of Emil's time so he won't be able to bother her. It's brilliant, and Michele claps an imaginary hand on his back for coming up with the idea. Sure, it'll be hard to juggle between Emil, that Japanese closet perv, and all the other boys, but anything for Sala.

When he originally thought of this plan, Michele had no idea it would be so _awkward_. Emil asked the both of them earlier if they'd like to watch the other skaters perform with him, and Michele shouted yes so quickly it surprised them. His embarrassment died down quickly as he saw Sala smile up at him, not noticing the faint red blush forming on Emil's face.

Now though, Michele was regretting being so hasty as he was seated in between Sala and Emil. He didn't know what to do. Should he talk to him? But what would he talk about? Even with his body acting as a barrier, it didn't stop the other two from chatting with each other, causing Michele to glumly prop his head up in his hands, elbows resting on his thighs.

"Hey are you alright?" Emil asked with a small half smile.

As much as he wanted to respond with snark or flat out ignore him, that would ruin his plan, "No I'm good, thanks," Michele said glancing up at the boy, who only nodded and went back to watching the others skate.

Michele needed to step up his game if he wanted his plan to work.

*

Michele gulped loudly as he stood waiting in front of Emil's hotel door. He had just knocked on the door, planning to ask Emil to hang out. The only reason he was even here right now was because he overheard Sala talking to Mila about how she was going to ask Emil if he wanted to go shopping. Michele quickly intercepted, proclaiming that he was already going out with Emil that day. He regretted his decision right away, repulsed at the idea of spending the entire day away from Sala and with Emil. Who was going to protect her while he was away?

He was drawn away from his thoughts as Emil opened the door, jumping a bit in surprise as he saw Michele standing in front of him alone.

"Hey Emil," Michele tried sounding nonchalant, "Let's go sightseeing today, just you and me."

Emil widened his eyes in shock, "Are you sure? What about Sala?"

Michele's eye twitched and Emil stuttered out a quick 'never mind let's go', and they were on their way.

Much to Michele's surprise, Emil's company wasn't half bad, he even found himself chuckling every now and then at Emil's jokes. The two managed to fall into a comfortable silence as they walked down the streets of the foreign city. It was nice, even if he preferred Sala's company more, Michele couldn't help but admit that he almost felt bad for being so cold towards Emil. He was almost like an overgrown puppy if Michele was being honest. This plan was going to be easier than he thought.

That didn't mean he didn't try ignoring any positive feelings he had towards Emil though, under the impression that he was still chasing after his sister.

*

If Emil was confused back then, he's utterly clueless now. Michele's invitation had come straight out of nowhere, causing him to worry if Mickey planned on murdering him in a dark alley somewhere. Thankfully he didn't, and Emil couldn't help but stand a little taller each time he managed to make Mickey laugh at one of his jokes. What brought this sudden kindness on, Emil didn't know. He didn't say anything though, not wanting to ruin whatever this moment was. If he and Mickey were back on good terms, he wasn't going to question it.

The following days were the same, Mickey would come and ask Emil if he wanted to hang out. Emil would say yes, and with every passing day, he found it harder to ignore the weird fluttering in his stomach whenever he was with Mickey. He tried to go ask Sala about it, but it seemed like Mickey wouldn't leave him alone. Anytime Emil made any mention at all of going to see Sala, Mickey would get a weird glint in his eyes and steer him away. Question after question plaged Emil's mind. Did they get into a fight? Is Sala sick? Those were the more believable reasons he allowed himself to think of. But after seeing the twins embrace each other in a hug, Sala clearly as healthy as ever, Emil started to wonder what was going on in Mickey's head.

Emil brought out his imaginary detective hat, and he set off to work.

At first he was stunned when Mickey asked if he wanted to hang out with him and Sala that day. It was always Emil who initiated these hang outs, and even then, Mickey looked like he would rathet be anywhere else. So of course Emil said yes, he didn't know if this oppurtunity would ever come up again. Pretty soon, Emil became some extended part of the Mickey & Sala duo. Emil was overjoyed and excited, something he would never let either of the twins know. 

It was another day of competition, and he and the twins were together for most of the day. Emil watched Mickey closely that day, to see if there was anything different with him. Unfortunately for Emil's detective investigation, it was just another normal day, which irritated Emil. When would he find out what was wrong with Mickey? He was set to give up his entire investigation, deciding that Mickey just had a random change of heart. Until Yuuri showed up that is.

The poor boy's coach was gone that day, his dog was sick apparently. He didn't exactly see it, but he did hear it. A loud shriek Emil identified as Mickey's. ame from down the hallway. Thinking he was in trouble, he hurried to where he heard the sound, only to see Mickey throw his arms up as Yuuri trapped him in a hug. From Mickey's fuming expression, he could only guess that Katsuki hugged Sala, a huge offence in Mickey's books. Emil only looked at the scene exasperated, not only at Mickey's reaction, but how quickly his heart sped up when he heard Mickey yelling.

Emil didn't notice when the Katsuki boy came up to him, but suddenly he was engulfed in a hug. Oh! Emil understood it now, Yuuri wanted to compete in a hugging competition. His competitive streak made an appearance as he closed his eyes and hugged Yuuri back twice as hard, only letting go when Yuuri moved to his next victim.

When he opened his eyes, he saw a frustrated looking Michele in front of him. Mickey pointed a finger into his chest, looking at him with steely eyes, "Don't get caught up with that Yuuri guy," Mickey looked behind him and snorted, "Don't get fooled by that nervous exterior, he's just some closeted pervert."

Emil only gulped at their close proximity and nodded, noticing Sala's curious eyes. Emil prided himself on the fact that he only flushed a bright red after the twins had left. Maybe there's something he's been missing after all.

He perked up when he got a text later that night from Sala, telling him that they need to talk when Mickey fell asleep. Maybe now he would finally get some answers.

*

Sala had noticed her brother acting weird ever since he started being nicer to Emil. At first she thought it was because something she said finally got through that thick skull of his. It only got weird when Mickey started practically hoarding Emil all to himself. It was strange, and Sala thought it was another one of his schemes to keep every boy that existed away from her. However it changed the moment Mickey felt more comfortable incorporating Emil into their daily activities. She noticed that the more time the two spent together, Sala noticed an expression on Mickey's face that had only been reserved for her. 

It was fondness. She watched as Mickey would fond over Emil whenever the younger male would say something silly. It was subtle, but it was there, and Sala was going to get to the bottom of this.

She meets Emil by the hotel pool after Mickey dozes off. Sala almost feels like a spy, sneaking off to get valuable information. Except she's not, she's only finding out if her stupid brother's crush likes him back.

Emil's there a few minutes later, hair rumpled and eyes sleepy as if he just woke up from a nap. Sala suddenly takes note to give her brother the shovel talk after she gives the talk to Emil. While she doesn't want to see her brother hurt, she doesn't know if she could live seeing this boy (her baby) get hurt either.

"Sala?" Emil whispered. "You wanted to talk?"

Not wanting to beat around the bush, Sala just blurts it out, not caring to keep quiet, "You like my brother don't you?"

Emil straightens up quickly, looking like she just slapped him across the face. She almost feels bad for accussing him so boldly, but gives a little smirk when she sees his ears and cheeks flush a deep scarlet red.

"W-what? Haha I don't know what you're talking about!" Emil stammers as he scratches the back of his head nervously.

Sala's smirk widens, this is going to be so easy. "Oh? Then I guess your red cheeks are because of the cold? Just admit it Emil, you like him," she sing songs, enjoying the way he squirms under her gaze.

To Sala's amusment, he only manages flushes even redder, looking down as he plays with his hands, "I don't know, Mickey's a nice friend I guess. I don't know if I like him that way though."

Sala drops her smile. Of course all the men in she knows manage to make her life difficult. She tries to keep her temper down, Emil's practically still a baby, she reasons, he's only 18, so she decides to cut him some slack. "Don't worry, I'll help you."

She doesn't wait for a response as she bombarbs him with questions. "Do you know that he likes to look at you when he thinks you're not looking? How would you feel if you could hold his hand? Do you get these weird feelings in your chest whenever you look at him?"

Emil, whose face now resembled a tomato, stuttered, "Oh, um, I didn't know he did that." 

He looked down at Sala shyly, "I guess I do kind of like him. Just a little bit."

Bingo, just what she wanted to hear. Her smirk returns tenfold as she steps forward, "Good, now that that's settled, listen here Emil, I love you like a little brother, but just know that if Mickey ever gets hurt, I have a shovel I'm not afraid to use." She finishes off her threat with a small glare, and pops back with a smile, "That was a nice talk, don't you think?"

Sala feels accomplished as Emil gulps and nods his head rapidly, resembling a bobblehead.

*

Michele is confused. Sala asked if the two of them could hang out alone today. Usually Emil tags along, but he guesses that it's only because his plan is working brilliantly, Sala and Emil don't even look interested in each other anymore. He's excited to spend time alone with his sister, even if they're just going to be stuck in a hotel room all day. Maybe there'll be some good movies on tv.

He begins to worry a little when Sala comes in with a sickly sweet smile on her face. From years of knkwing her, Michele knows that smile never brings anything good.

"Mickey," Sala sits down on the bed next to him, "You and Emil have been real friendly lately, anything you want to tell me?"

There it is, Sala's never been one to sugar coat things. Michele's worried though, did she somehow manage to find out his plan? "Of course, he's not that bad considering he doesn't drool all over you like all those other mutts."

"Just because boys like me doesn't make them mutts Mickey," she tutts, "And not that bad? I've seen you look at him, you're totally in love."

Michele choked on his spit at the statement. Him? In love? With _Emil_? As he regains his posture, Michele resolves to tell Sala about his plan, to get rid of any confusion. "I don't love him, I can barely tolerate him, I was just spending all his time so I could keep him away from you!"

Sala only rolled her eyes, "As if I didn't know that already? You'd do anything to keep any boys away from me. I'm not _blind_ Mickey."

Michele's face paled. Sala knew? Why didn't she say anything? "W-what? Sala, why didn't you say anything?" 

"Because I thought this would be good for you," Sala said, features softening a bit. "You spend so much time trying to protect me that you don't have much friends except for me, that isn't healthy Mickey can't you see that?"

Michele was shocked. Did she really think that? He guessed that having Emil wouldn't be that bad, if it made her happy. "I guess you're right Sala, Emil's a pretty good friend."

Sala only rolled her eyes again and shook her head. What did he say this time? "Oh Mickey, I guess I'll have to be happy with that answer."

What did she mean by that? Michele was confused, but Sala was hugging him so he guesses it's not that bad.

Except. Sala's words haunt his mind, and now Michele's realizing things he never did before. Emil tagged along with him and Sala for lunch again, and Michele ended up sitting in front of the two. After getting their orders taken, Emil decided to play with the utensils there, making a tower out of metal forks. Because he felt generous, Michele tells him that it's a cute tower, which it _is_. Emil's face heats up, and Michele finds himself wondering if he always did that whenever he talked to him. He decides to keep a tally, see how often Emil blushes whenever Michele compliments him. 

If he has a tally of 12 by the end of the hour, Michele totally does not care, and he ignores the pointed look Sala gives him on the way back to the hotel.

Pretty soon Michele realizes that Sala was right, he does like Emil, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. He blames it on the fact that Emil reminds him of a cute puppy. It's impossible to get mad at one, and just as impossible to keep from falling in love with one. Wait, what? Love? Michele's pretty sure he only admitted to liking Emil a few moments ago, and now he thinks he's falling in _love_? He needs Sala's help, she always knows what to do.

*

Sala knew Mickey would find out about his not so secret crush eventually, she just didn't expect it to be so soon.

When she got Mickey's text that just said 'help', she had an inkling that it was Emil related, and was delighted to find out she was right. Right now, Mickey was standing in front of her in a hallway, sweating a bit as he asked her for advice. Finally, she thinks, I thought he was going to be doomed forever.

"You want to ask him out don't you?" she continues when Mickey nods, "Then just tell him that."

"I can't just go up to him and ask him 'Hey Emil I like you, let's go on a date', he'll laugh at me!" he spluttered.

Sala rolls her eyes for the thousandth time. Brothers. "Except that is _exactly_ how it goes. Besides, I talked to Emil, he likes you too you know."

"What!" Mickey exclaimed waving his arms around, "When was this?"

"A few weeks ago," Sala taps her foot impatiently, "Now all you have to do is go up to Emil and-"

"Go up to Emil and what?" asked Emil as he interrupted their conversation. Perfect.

"Mickey wants to ask you out on a date," Sala blurts out before Mickey can say anything. Mickey splutters and tries to say something before Sala adds, "And he's had a big fat crush on you for weeks but was too chicken to say anything."

"Sala!" Mickey whines as he blushes lightly. He turns to Emil with a cool expression, "It's uh, not that big of a deal, you don't have to say yes if you don't want to."

To Sala's delight, Emil snaps out of whatever daze he's in and blushes a bright red. "Um actually, that date sounds pretty good."

Mickey looks shocked before he recollects himself, "Oh! Well great, now sound good?" he asks as Emil nods with a shy smile.

The two make a move to walk away, Emil steps in front of Mickey. Sala grabs Mickey's collar before he can join Emil though. "If you ever hurt that boy you can consider yourself dead to me," she whispers threatingly in his ear.

Mickey gulps and nods as he rushes to catch up with Emil, who links his arm with Mickey's. Sala smiles to herself, patting herself on the back for a job well done.

Later that night, Sala goes back to the hotel after spending the day with Mila, she's about to open the door when she hears a thumping noise, and Emil's voice cry out.

Maybe Mila wouldn't mind if she spent the night, Sala thinks as she rushes to get away from the room, Mila's a nice girl. (In reality Emil tackled Mickey in a hug, and they toppled over.) 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Come yell at my tumblr @kinkshamingonice


End file.
